I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I am naked and annoyed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
