girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
