Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My liver is preforming stress tests.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
