Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
