just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
