You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize