The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize