got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
