So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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