I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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