So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
