I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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