Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
