yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
