You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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