Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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