These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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