is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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