My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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