hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
