do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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