are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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