My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
