what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
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Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
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They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
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