Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
