I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
