she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
