i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
