I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
