he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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