playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
