Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
