ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
