i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
