I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
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Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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