3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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