can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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