That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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