What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
