I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The ass gains better be worth it
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