he shaved USA in his pubs
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
