We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
