im drinking this country out of the recession.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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