After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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