can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
