just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
