I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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