Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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