I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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