I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
