im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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