Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
