the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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