She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
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I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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